TL; dr. If you run across a magnificent misunderstanding of how personal responsibility and how restaurants work, and it's online, please post it here.
You know, that craziness of diner stupidity (she says, never having been there myself)?
Expectations that a person should be babysat while at a restaurant?
Once they walk in, they are no longer parents and so don't have to worry about how their offspring are tripping restaurant staff, screaming, etc?
Expectations that somehow the restaurant should be able to magically ensure that your food is shellfish (or nuts, or gluten) free?
I'll start. Not as funny as it could be, but there it is. I Had A Terrible Experience At This Restaurant Because I Am A Terrible Person