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Pete Wells (NYT) reviews Guy's American Kitchen and Bar


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#1 Jill-O

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Posted 13 November 2012 - 03:22 PM

Wow, Pete Wells had a seriously bad time in "Flavor Town"

http://www.nytimes.c...ewanted=1&_r=1

It starts with the question:

GUY FIERI, have you eaten at your new restaurant in Times Square?


And continues as a serious of questions posed to Guy, such as:

Why is one of the few things on your menu that can be eaten without fear or regret — a lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers — called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, when it resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson?


and

Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?


and

How did nachos, one of the hardest dishes in the American canon to mess up, turn out so deeply unlovable? Why augment tortilla chips with fried lasagna noodles that taste like nothing except oil? Why not bury those chips under a properly hot and filling layer of melted cheese and jalapeños instead of dribbling them with thin needles of pepperoni and cold gray clots of ground turkey?



It's a very amusing review. Enjoy.
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#2 sacman

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Posted 13 November 2012 - 03:44 PM

That WAS entertaining.

For the fun of it, I ate at a Johnny Garlic's in Sacramento a couple years back. Don't think I ever posted about it on the board here...one of the less memorable meals I've had. Just not that great.

Pics here, if you're interested.

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- I am an employee of a Portland-based firm that has business relationships with several local food-related businesses.

#3 StMaximo

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Posted 13 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

I'm not even sure the funniest lines were excerpted.

That's hilarious.

I've eaten at several of the restaurants that he's featured and the only one of those that I'd return to is Podnah's

#4 mymil

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Posted 14 November 2012 - 11:30 AM

Hilarious.

I especially liked

When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, WELCOME TO FLAVOR TOWN!, were you just messing with our heads?



#5 jmatt

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Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:53 PM

Sort of like shooting fish in a barrel, really. Seems like whenever you read a scathing review of this ilk of a place, in any media, it's usually of a safe target, unlikely to ruffle the wrong feathers---I suppose the scorn heaped on Lucier a good local example.

Did Wells expect any different of a cheesy restaurant in Times Square squarely aimed at tourists---one which the loathed Fieri's input probably only consisted of a fat paycheck for lending his name to the place?

The simple fact that this yahoo is so capable of getting the collective "foodie" hordes' panties in a twist, over nothing, really, just makes me like him even more. One comment I read in the article, from Portland no less, said "Guy Fieri's fans are all people who watch too much reality TV while munching microwave pizza. If you gave them decent food they wouldn't know the difference anyway." Yeah, keep telling yourself that, ass-munch. I'll admit a weakness for Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives---pure mindless entertainment, and it's amusing to see the sometimes awkward interactions he has with some of the restaurant owners.

And, I notice that the popular Podnah's, Pok Pok, and Pine State Biscuits didn't exactly turn down the opportunity to appear on that show. Money talks. Not every place he visits is a grease-bomb shithole and I like hearing the backstories of some of the spots featured on the show---especially the older iconic places in different cities that may not have the best food, but are fixtures, nevertheless.

The day that Tanuki appears on the show, it's a sign the apocalypse has come!

#6 WAfoodie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

And, I notice that the popular Podnah's, Pok Pok, and Pine State Biscuits didn't exactly turn down the opportunity to appear on that show.

Also Blueplate, Bunk, Otto's Sausage, Arleta Bakery and Cafe, Byways Cafe accepted the love.......

Perhaps an army of emails from the forum nominating their choice is in order.

#7 Jill-O

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:06 AM

Guy responds on the Today show:

http://video.today.m...36579/#49836579

Fieri claims Wells went "overboard" and had "an agenda."
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#8 Quo Vadis

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:01 PM

The day that Tanuki appears on the show, it's a sign the apocalypse has come!


A couple shows (I'm not naming names) have approached us.

One of three things would have to happen for me to say yes
1) I think I may be able to get away with drunkenly basket stomping them on tv
2) It is a show I actually respect (zombie Julie Child- have your peeps call my peeps)
3) My wife (God forbid) needs an operation we can't afford

That isn't to insult those that have chosen to do shows. It's just we're a niche market. We can't make those kinds of crowds happy.
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#9 Quo Vadis

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:17 PM

Guy responds on the Today show:

http://video.today.m...36579/#49836579

Fieri claims Wells went "overboard" and had "an agenda."


You know, my first reaction to the review is that it is pretty damn funny.
But Fieri has a point. Wells went in with contempt for everything about the place, and I suspect, anyone who would go there as well.
I know bad food is bad food and the food there is probably quite bad. But obviously someone likes it.

That said... if you name a chunky mayo-like condiment on your menu "Donkey Sauce" it is hard to say you don't deserve whatever comes your way.
Methinks I am like a man, who having struck on many shoals, and having narrowly escap'd shipwreck in passing a small frith, has yet the temerity to put out to sea in the same leaky weather-beaten vessel, and even carries his ambition so far as to think of compassing the globe under these disadvantageous circumstances-Hume

#10 Quo Vadis

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:36 PM

But then I hope this really happened:
http://www.theonion....-guy-fie,30389/
Methinks I am like a man, who having struck on many shoals, and having narrowly escap'd shipwreck in passing a small frith, has yet the temerity to put out to sea in the same leaky weather-beaten vessel, and even carries his ambition so far as to think of compassing the globe under these disadvantageous circumstances-Hume

#11 StMaximo

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 03:03 PM

I got taken to dinner at a Johnny Garlics. It struck me as a cross between Applebee's Red Robin and Olive Garden with extra hype added. That strikes me as what the American Kitchen in Times Square place is.

I have a friend who travels extensively that eats at Applebee's when it's available. According to him, he's never disappointed and never wowed - it just is what it is. I think he's in the majority in this country. I'm sure that more people will go because of the "snobbish NYT review is picking on Guy" than will avoid it judging by the comments.

#12 jmatt

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 04:51 PM


Guy responds on the Today show:

http://video.today.m...36579/#49836579

Fieri claims Wells went "overboard" and had "an agenda."


But Fieri has a point. Wells went in with contempt for everything about the place, and I suspect, anyone who would go there as well.
I know bad food is bad food and the food there is probably quite bad. But obviously someone likes it.

That said... if you name a chunky mayo-like condiment on your menu "Donkey Sauce" it is hard to say you don't deserve whatever comes your way.


That was sort of my feeling too---mirrored by the guy from Portland I quoted who commented in the original review---and so then, why even bother? Who fucking cares what other people like? Easy, easy target.

And the Donkey sauce----won't even touch that one.

#13 Jill-O

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:21 AM

Lots of folks had questions about that review (and about other things) and Wells answers some here:

http://www.nytimes.c...c.html?hp&_r=1
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#14 Twohearted

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 03:49 PM

No, this isn't real....I don't think....

 

http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/



#15 Jill-O

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 04:03 PM

No, this isn't real....I don't think....

 

http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/

 

 

HAHAHAHAHA!!!


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#16 mymil

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 10:19 AM

No, this isn't real....I don't think....

 

http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/

 

This is very funny, but also very sadly completely plagiarized: http://gawker.com/59...n-twitter-jokes



#17 Twohearted

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 05:12 PM

I'm not surprised.  Besides, Dadboner already had the Guy Fieri menu suggestions locked up:

 

http://flint.craigsl...3632016862.html